f you're in a Catholic confessional every Wednesday evening while your partner gets his Shabbat on each Friday night, you may be wondering what the heck you're going to do on one other very important day of the week—your wedding day. But the good news is that many couples host interdenominational ceremonies flawlessly—and we've got the expert advice to help you do the same.


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1. Get your family on board.

Chances are that your family feels as strongly about your religion as you do. So by introducing another set of beliefs—some of which may directly contradict your own—into your ceremony, you risk offending them, warns Aviva Samuels, owner of Kiss the Planner in Palm Beach, Fla. "It's not always possible to do what you think is best and have other people agree with you," she commiserates. "Exercising compassion, common sense, and tender loving care is all you can do. Hopefully it is received as well as it is intended."

To ensure you get the right message across to your loved ones and to avoid any surprise disappointments on your wedding day, New York City's Tinsel & Twine co-owner Erica Taylor says it's smart to sit down and talk out your ceremony plans well before the big day. "We recommend that our couples have conversations with parents—and grandparents—to make sure key cultural elements are incorporated," she says, adding this can be your chance to make sure important heirlooms can be incorporated into your ceremony. "This same conversation is the time to explain the overlapping traditions that each side can celebrate."

2. Spell it out in your ceremony program.

Stop any confusion over why your Christian-based ceremony has Jewish overtones by divulging the details of each religious nod on your ceremony program. "Adding explanatory verbiage to a wedding program is a lovely way to highlight the significance of the various traditions of both religions," explains Samuels. "This way everyone can participate and feel included in the ceremonial differences that they might not otherwise understand."

Not only does an informative program keep your guests in the loop as to what's going on, "having these cultural parallels outlined in the ceremony program gives guests a lovely, meaningful conversation piece prior to the start of the ceremony," says Taylor. But if you fear a paper program isn't enough to get guests on the same page, "having the officiant outline and explain these elements is a great structure for the ceremony itself and foundation for the vows of the two people joining lives and cultures through marriage," Taylor suggests.

3. Mix it up.

Rather than whipping through all your Hindu traditions before moving into your Catholic vows, Samuels suggests alternating religious customs throughout the ceremony. In such a religious mash-up, she suggests, it might be appropriate to conduct a ritual holy water bath before lighting a unity candle—and back and forth, until your ceremony concludes. It's less jarring for guests, Samuels explains, and creates a unity to your ceremony that mirrors your marriage. "Find the traditions that you consider beautiful and add them as you and your fiancé deem appropriate to personalize your wedding ceremony," she says.

4. Focus on your similarities.

Obviously your religions are disparate—and part of the point of honoring both during your ceremony is to respect their differences. But by finding the commonalities between you beliefs you can seamlessly blend your ceremony. "Focus on your religion's similarities instead of their differences," Samuels suggests. "Your officiant can offer words of wisdom that borrows from both schools of thought. Most religions teach love and that is truly what the wedding is about. Focus on that and you can't go wrong."

5. Steer clear of defining god.

God does not go by a single name nor a single persona. So, says Samuels, "during readings and songs it's smart to steer away from the usage of God or Jesus' names and instead speak about the sanctity of marriage." You've got options—from referring to god as a higher power to the giver of life—without calling him or her by name. Then, incorporate readings that reference god with a common thread. Psalms, for example, translate in the Christian, Catholic, and Jewish faiths, and "are considered like poetry for the soul," Samuels says. "Referencing things of that nature allows family and guests from both religions identify with what is being said."

6. Consider having more than one officiant.

While a Christian minister may be willing to incorporate Hindu traditions, "it's perfectly acceptable to have two officiants officiating at your ceremony," says Samuels, each with an intimate knowledge of their own faiths and traditions. If you go this route, make sure to introduce your officiants before the wedding day, "so that you can create a flow that honors both sides and feels right for your special day," Samuels says.

At the end of the day, Samuels says, "blending your religions within the wedding ceremony is just the beginning of a long life together filled with compromise. If you can successfully respect each other's beliefs and the beliefs that your families hold dear, there's a great chance that you will be able to work through those differences during the rest of your marriage. Consider it practice for the long and happy road ahead."

For more: Wedding Dresses 2016